29 Apr 2014

25 Apr 2014

Another Win

I've been down recently but the last couple of weeks since I turned 34 have been getting better for a few reasons:

- I'm trying harder to feel better. Only I can make myself feel better. It's no one else responsibility. Folks can help, I can get tools to use from experts, and if the brain is chemically fucked there are things to help out... lucky for me I've avoided that last one.

- I've got plenty of support. My Wife is my best source of joy. She supports me when I fall apart or feel brittle. There are moments when I just can't take it and she's right beside me helping me pick up the chips that fall away from my very being.

- My mates are coming out and I think that they are starting to understand the situation I've been in. I've kept it locked down the last couple of months on how I've been feeling but when I broke down a couple weeks ago, I've just become honest. It's raw and it leaves folks a wee bit surprised but some are trying to pull me out of my funk.

As I'm trying to sleep early enough so I can have breakfast (at 5am) with my wife, I found the video after the break posted in Facebook. It rocked me out of my funk long enough for me to post another biddy... see you after the break.

23 Apr 2014


I tried to finish one of my posts - actually the last one. I wasn't super happy with it. I didn't feel it had the level of polish I've been trying to implement. It was missing images and hyperlinks ... all those things that make a post go from ok to a bit better.

Today (Tue) was a good day.

I came home after a 12 hour shift, picked up the wife and took her to work so she could avoid the buses. I pulled into the flat and crashed right after seven. She called me so I cut my sleep short and with shy of six hours of sleep I'm back up.

Tonight I'm not going to another 12 hours of a cage.

Tonight I'll be drugging myself so I can sleep by midnight.

Tomorrow, (Wed) I will be getting a medical for one of the job I posted in Aug ... last year!

22 Apr 2014

Table Top - Warmachine: Vengeance


That's the sound that Warmachine releases make when they show up.

Vengeance is once more like most of the other expansions that come out for Warmachine and Hordes. Unlike other games where army books are released one at a time - Privateer Press releases one book for each of the two games about once every sixteen months.

Each book will have new figures, rules, and the continuation of the over arching plot. Each chapter is dedicated to a faction so everyone gets new toys to play with.

Since Mark II (aka Second Edition), we've had two other Warmachine and Hordes releases. Wrath and Colossals for Warmachine with Domination and Gargantuans for Hordes. Vengeance is the third release for Warmachine.

Now another neat thing about the way the game is released is that the miniatures are released ahead of the book and through the year after the release of the book. Many of the Cavalry units and some of the solos have already been released.

Another odd duck to Vengeance is the inclusion of the journyman Warcasters for the kickstarter are also included. The miniatures will get a general release and we've already seen the rules but now it seems I don't have to pull out a fancy PDF file - I've got the hard copy.

So lets take a look at some of the really fancy entries in this book.

20 Apr 2014

Media - Advice from Ze

Since I've been unhappy, I've been far more abrasive with Lady Bear. I'm short and when I start getting angry I see that she's also unhappy with out situation.

We see each other for about an hour and a half each day when she gets home before I head off to work. When I'm not working I try to keep my overnight sleep schedule because not keeping it up makes the work nights that much harder - plus I become a right horrid git and grumpy jerk.

So we've had some fights - but we love each other and we're just getting things off our chest, we're frustrated - we're trying to keep it in a bit more because we don't want to burden the other with our current shit.

So we're having a few more fights. In a few days, I've been at the this job and on this time table for ten whole months.

So I'm gona yammer about fighting... and yammer I mean I found someone else who explains it better then me.

11 Apr 2014

Break - Not in the mood

I've be away.

I've got a slew of half completed posts kicking in the queue, including the last set of Mass Effect Journals.

I'm not doing well.

When I was going to leave my last full time job last year, 18 April 2013. I decided to look for work as of the previous December. That's a four and a half months head start looking for new work.

I'm still looking and that's hard.

2 Apr 2014

Looking for work

One of the shity things with my current job situation is I work as a guard in a cage. In this cage I am locked away for 12 hours. With no cell, internet, radio, music, computer, phone - just a clock and the shit I need to keep track of.

I live on the other side of the day, which you Daystalkers call the night.

This is a shity job, it pays mind you and I have plenty of time to think and scribble.

To look for work, Lady Bear helps me out with finding new jobs on her time off. I get home and as I crash, the sun rises and I read up on the possible job postings that may fit my CV. It's not until Saturday night, when I get to finally kick out most of my applications.

I had a few options coming to bear some fruit but alas, nothing yet so back to the CV's and cover letters.

It's up to me to find work and change my situation.

This past Saturday, right before I turn 34 years old, I started back at reviewing my CV and cleaning up cover letters. Completing online applications and praying that I get a fucking break in the coming months.

Living the dream is hard when you have trouble paying for the awake part.

Sadly this situation is not uncommon or even rare. It's being heard everywhere and it's really lame.

So if you're looking for work - keep at it.

We all need to be reminded there is a light at the end of the tunnel and we need to keep plugging away. We will find a job - we just can't stop looking.